Friday, April 29, 2011
感慨
剩下不到三个月就十八岁的我，
突然有股莫名的无奈，悲伤，绝望，悲观，失落。
这些情绪来的太突兀，让我不知该如何释怀。
也许人生就是这样，在你最寂寞的时候，负面情绪就会唐突地侵袭你那短暂的快乐。
快乐打了退堂鼓，让悲伤占据你的心灵。
也许到了这个人生阶段，我才突然领悟到，人生并非一帆风顺。
再加上今年犯太岁（虽然我不是很迷信），可能还会有小劫。
其实让我最懊恼的还是人际关系。
从中学攀上了理工学院后，我才发现朋友之间的友情不再是那么坚定，那么真挚。
中学的我还以为人生最大的悲剧就是遇上了一个不仁不义的朋友，
来到了这，我才发现原来我错了。
结交了一些好友，才发现自己该调整观看人，事，物的角度。
一向认为已经精通了如何处理人际关系的我（太无知了），现在才发现之前学会的都根本不能打好基础。
到了人生的不同阶段，面对的人也会然你目瞪口呆，不知所措。
当你面对这种情况是，唯一能做的就是微笑。
别小看微笑的力量，它能够抵挡外界所给予你的压力，替你在尴尬的情况下解围，还能让你逃离前所未有，不知所措的局势。
最可悲的还是家。
还以为回到了自己的容身之处就能得到慰藉。
我真是一错再错，到底要错到何时？
家里的舅母真是让人大跌眼镜。
婚前婚后的她根本就判若两人，本来还期望她能是唯一一个不那么自私，那么guailan的媳妇儿。
但是我外婆又失望了。
这次还更糟，竟然把母亲的责任推给了我母亲。
让我母亲每天为他的儿子忙得焦头烂额，夜以继日。
还以为她下班后就会立刻扛起母亲的担子，结果她却忙起自己的东西，完完全全的把自己置身于外，仍然把孩子退给我妈或她老公，也就是我舅舅照顾。
到了如此不负责任的地步我也无可奈何。
每晚躺在床上
都想找回当初那种 “一身轻”的感觉了。
我也不知道该到什么时候，才能寻回当初的感觉。好怀念。
Hope it'll be fine.
Hope after all this,
all the misunderstandings and the barriers would be
D-E-M-O-L-I-S-H-E-D
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Archives
Men talk of killing time, while time quietly kills them. ~Dion Boucicault
Haha, looking back at those archives,
never thought life was so fulfilling those days.
All those love problems and those days where we were mugging for O's and those working days..
Never could have been able to reminisce if not for blogger.
Some 小插曲..
只能说
我对你彻彻底底的失望
从来没想过你是这种人
或者说，连做梦都没梦过你会做出这种事
起初，我没那么生气
可是听他们一说
自己想了想
对你
很失望
我不是玩偶
不是让你想怎样就怎样的人
连他们都说你变了
变得更糟
我真是笨
竟然。。。。
Anyway
Thanks for telling me, if not i will still be that idiot =.=
To think i still trusted you.
What you are doing now is not going to help.
If you are going to continue being like this
BE MY GUEST!
I AM NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING!
SO WHAT YOU WANT!
I wan to see how you are going to continue all this.
Oh ya i am not talking about anyone close to me.
And i mean close.
我对你彻彻底底的失望
从来没想过你是这种人
或者说，连做梦都没梦过你会做出这种事
起初，我没那么生气
可是听他们一说
自己想了想
对你
很失望
我不是玩偶
不是让你想怎样就怎样的人
连他们都说你变了
变得更糟
我真是笨
竟然。。。。
Anyway
Thanks for telling me, if not i will still be that idiot =.=
To think i still trusted you.
What you are doing now is not going to help.
If you are going to continue being like this
BE MY GUEST!
I AM NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING!
SO WHAT YOU WANT!
I wan to see how you are going to continue all this.
Oh ya i am not talking about anyone close to me.
And i mean close.
HAHAHAHAHAH
Next!
对不起
又是我的错了，让你一再的伤心
老实说
我不知道自己在搞什么
一直以来
我都没发现是我的不成熟是你那么难受
“对不起”
越来越普遍了
说得太多连我自己都麻木了
我真的不想再错下去
我很希望，真的希望，你能够继续包容我的错
回想起那些幼稚的举动，批评
我不禁感到汗颜
现在，这个时刻，我愿意改变，不再让你为我流一滴眼泪
是因为我太爱你
又是我的错了，让你一再的伤心
老实说
我不知道自己在搞什么
一直以来
我都没发现是我的不成熟是你那么难受
“对不起”
越来越普遍了
说得太多连我自己都麻木了
我真的不想再错下去
我很希望，真的希望，你能够继续包容我的错
回想起那些幼稚的举动，批评
我不禁感到汗颜
现在，这个时刻，我愿意改变，不再让你为我流一滴眼泪
是因为我太爱你
FREAKING CORNY
Last one!
我又回来了。
好久没到我的部落格了。
刚才让我凑巧的到我中二开的部落格。
哈哈，让我想起第一次参加比赛。还真让人怀念。
现在我已17岁了，也就因为我17岁了，我才明白17岁前的我是那么的快乐，无忧无虑。
17岁的我，生活并不比以前快乐，反而比以前更忧郁。
在我这个科系，每个人的话语程度都比我好，使我非常担心。担心自己会跟不上他们的脚步。
另外，在理工学院想要交到真心的朋友简直比登天还难。以前的我认为，自己不搭讪别人，也会有人来搭讪我。但是现在却是相反。由于整个班的人数太少，而且自己也不善于说话，所以在休息时找朋友吃饭简直是种烦恼。
我，真的真的好想回到过去。生活多姿多彩。现在的我并不快乐。
AWWWWWWWWWWWW
真诚
倘若我们第一次见面时你就是真心的，也许现在我也不会觉得你很虚伪，
我希望你有什么不满就当着那个人的面说，
希望你们不要再把局面搞得那么僵。
我一直都很真心地对待朋友，
希望你也会真心地对待我们。
Monday, April 25, 2011
MY RAY POSTER HAS ARRIVED!
WAHHHH WAITED FOR AROUND 2 WEEKS! HUAT AR! LONG LIVE ALLEN!4th present!
Sunday, April 24, 2011
4th!
YAY! It's our 4th today!
Love you bb!
Wonder if the post man would lose the parcel or thrown the parcel away =.=
Will be seeing what you gonna give me tomorrow!
Good day! =)
Saturday, April 23, 2011
I need to be taller.
Haiz wth, got blocked so many times just now,
someone who's just a few cm taller than me could easily block my shots =.=
Gotta train on outside shootings already since i'm too short to actually layup my shots
But how could Derrick Rose do it so easily, without getting blocked?
Damn it =.=
Friday, April 22, 2011
I think i'm getting more and more..
I think i'm getting more and more 洁癖..
I think i'm getting more and more paranoid..
I think i'm getting more and more irritable..
I think i'm getting more and more hungry.. =.=
I think i'm getting more and more emotional..
I think i'm getting more and more quiet..
I think i'm getting more and more sensitive..
I think i'm getting more and more demanding..
Why?
Even when i'm sleeping, my dreams won't let me off.
When can i find the solace i've always been looking for?
SELENE OIEEEEEEEEEEE!
SELENE OIIEEEEEEE AR!
HAHAHA! Still didn't manage to get them to say "BEN ROCKS" at the end of the cheer =.=
HAHAHA! Still didn't manage to get them to say "BEN ROCKS" at the end of the cheer =.=
BUT NEVERTHELESS, WE STILL HAD FUN WEEEEEEEE!
Wah i was damn lucky to see them outside the atrium when i was about to go! Didn't manage to say my last words before dismissal =( Greatest regret this month.
AND SO THIS IS DAY2! AT THE BOTANIC GARDENS! I remembered waiting for the other groups to come for like 20mins or so at least! Meanwhile, we started playing games and cheer and did forfeits. HAHAHA I REMEMBERED ONE THAT WAS DAMN FUNNY!Some one went to ask for a guy's number, then when that guy's gonna give, the girl went "Ah don't want la!" Then walk off! HAHA! That guy totally sian diao HAHAHA!
Ah, the jumpshot, fail haha.
Wah the last day, day games, the Helios GLs! All waiting to be rescued!
Ah and this one is with phyllis!
Ah, the jumpshot, fail haha.
Wah the last day, day games, the Helios GLs! All waiting to be rescued!
Ah and this one is with phyllis!And damn it, i feel so stupid without telling my freshies that i've wrote my email behind the note i gave them, i bet none noticed except for those that i've told. No wonder no one has added me yet TT_TT
BUT I'LL DIG ALL OF YOU OUT SOON!
HOPE WE'LL HAVE A SELENE GATHERING SOON!
HOPE WE'LL HAVE A SELENE GATHERING SOON!
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Now i believe everything happens for a reason
I know it'll be damn corny to say this BUT I DON'T CARE!
I AM MISSING MY FRESHIES MAN! The above is a collation of their blessings for me!
Then they folded it into a heart shape and gave it to me!
I was damn touched by it man!
During the prep camp, i was so reluctant to go and i even wanted to go back home cause it was so boring!
But then when the FOW starts, i began to feel the adrenaline rush!
All the 12 freshies i was taking care of, together with Michelle, were rather quiet on the first day
But GLs obviously have to cheer them up, make them break off the barriers between them!
AND WE DID IT!
The 2nd day, while we were at botanic gardens, all of them became enthusiastic all of a sudden! =)
We even managed to played games and cheers and crack all sorts of jokes hahaha!
Being the most quiet during the prep camp, i don't know why i deserve such a wonderful bunch of freshies with me, i'm a happy man already.
Thank you whoever made this happen.
During prep camp, i thought "if everything happens for a reason, i wanna know what the reason is for me to join this camp"
And so the reason came to me abruptly today, when i was giving them my notes of blessing!
THANK YOU SELENE!!! THANK YOU MICHELLE! THANK YOU LYANA, PHIL, MEI LIN, AMANDA NG, SHI LEE, CHERIE, CASSANDRA, SHERYL, REBECCA, SHAKIRA, AMANDA W. and ZI XIN! MOST IMPORTANTLY MY PARTNER MICHELLE!!! THANK YOU GUYS!
I'm so freaking touched by you guys, hope you guys don't feel irritated by me keep nagging and acting like a lunatic throughout the FOW! HOPE YOU GUYS HAVE ENJOYED!!! =)
Hope i'll be able to upload more photos during the FOW!
Now i'm thinking of going for the 30 hours famine camp..
Monday, April 18, 2011
＂你以为女人的妒嫉糟？男人的妒嫉更可怕＂
First day of fow!
I should say my throat's getting worse haha!
But it was fun I should say, just that freshies gotta be more enthusiastic haha!
And wow I actually met one woodlanders in my tribe!
If he hadn't tell me he finds me familiar, I wouldn't have notice him too.
Cool day, hope tomorrow will be better, botanic garden!
Kkk gotta rush to custom now. =.=
I should say my throat's getting worse haha!
But it was fun I should say, just that freshies gotta be more enthusiastic haha!
And wow I actually met one woodlanders in my tribe!
If he hadn't tell me he finds me familiar, I wouldn't have notice him too.
Cool day, hope tomorrow will be better, botanic garden!
Kkk gotta rush to custom now. =.=
Sunday, April 17, 2011
There's a problem
你还会需要我吗？
Then this song came so close to my heart.
贴切到让人听了好心痛。
这样的爱，好可怕。
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Nil
Don't think much la hor, let nature take it's course.
有妹妹那该多好
So i was taking bus home just now
Then there was this girl sitting beside me, around 5-6 years old
Then she took out her diary and started flipping through,
Then i saw something like "Today I am still very sad" and "Today i am happy"
HAHA!
Okay, that's not the point,
Okay, that's not the point,
the point is she started to doze off after she kept her diary,
while she was dozing off, she kept tilting her head left and right, going with the driver's flow,
so eventually she gave up and lie on my arms.
That moment, i felt so.. blissful
How i hope i have a sister, that can lie on my arms when she's tired..
Then her mum woke her up when we've reached the interchange.
If i have a sister.. How nice would it be.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Freaking full.
Wah, went to have seoul garden after like so long.
But it's ivan treating so it doesn't really hurt me for paying so much la haha
Damn freaking full man.
Then companied him to SP to finish his course transfer
Then to NYP to settle his stuff again
Headed to Northpoint and had one freaking full meal again =.=
I'm still bloated now damn it....
Anything that can happen, will happen.
I hope it won't.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
FBC
Yep some pics here from FBC. O.O
Siao eh Asnira from my sec sch, didn't expect her to be in the same tribe with me though. This game not challenging btw =.=
Outing to Botanic garden. Wah damn hot i can say.
Yea, trying damn hard to braid, but apparently i'm not cut out to be a tailor =/
I think i look kinda dumb here =.=Kkkk
HAHAHAHAHA! Kkkkkkkkk you forced me into this, don't blame me if i ever go too far.
Nah beh
气到 " chat chat tiao " fuyoooooh
Nah beh
气到 " chat chat tiao " fuyoooooh
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Camp after 2 years.
So i just went for the FOC Bonding camp, after 2 years.
Which means i haven't went for any camps after 2 years.
Seriously, i was damn bored on the first day and the botanic trip cause there was no one i could talk to except for Meiqi. But later on, i get to know more of them then it wasn't that bad already.
Damn tired now, the blanket in loft is damn thin.
Wonder what it'll be like for next week O.O
Saturday, April 9, 2011
300th
You know, all these wasn't a problem to me when i was young.
Back on your own words.
人善，真的被人欺?
I remember you telling me this, but now you're proving to me that this statement is absolutely true. I thought you'll change, but you didn't.
So you know how it feels to be in my shoes?
Pushing me around, shoving me here and there,
as if I'm someone who didn't come out from my mum's womb, some alien perhaps?
Well I have to tell you, I am a human being, I have feelings too, your attitude irks me.
I gave in to you initially, when this shit starts to happen last year, but it seems that whenever i gave in, you'll start all over again.
Well perhaps Ivan was right, I should ignore your acts, take it that I'm not worthy enough to be your friend that's why I keep receiving such treatments from you alright?
When others doesn't seemed to be receiving the kind of fucking treatment I get from you.
I've always kept it to myself perhaps I thought you're having fun, but you know, there's always a limit to the fun you're having, moreover, you are the only one enjoying, I'm not. Definitely.
Take it that I'm not worthy okay? Tell me, through any ways you like, if you wanna continue this friendship. If yes, please stop all these crap at once, if not, well, goodbye.
You don't choose my friends for me, i choose them myself.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Piss me off more.
Ah one day, when my patience has been reduced to courage, i'll confront you, ask you in the face, "Why do i deserve such treatment from you?"
Damn cool.
Wah woo! this new headband is damn cool! Told my mum to get it from me but whatever place she has gotten it for me, it's damn cool!
Now my hair's not gonna get oily, i hope it doesn't traps facial oil then producing pimples zzz!
So just now i was drinking green bean soup..
Then i was wondering when was the last time i drank it..
How times flies..
What? NO!
Wah bad news, Celtics lost to the Bulls.
Bet Derrick Rose and company got hold of the situation again =.=
Argh! Please don't lose during the playoffs!
I wanna see Celtics in the finals this year!
Bulls can try to steal the position next year.
Chalet!
Yep, so i went over for the chalet over at Aloha Loyang yesterday.
Well, it's kinda isolated, but thing is we had fun.
So we cooked our own dinner and crapped throughout the night.
Though we thought we were gonna watch sun rise, but all of us fell asleep an hour before the time haha.
Only that junzhou managed to tahan through the night.
Honest speaking, the living room was great, so cooling throughout the night.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Perfect.
What a perfect weather to sweat all my troubles off.
Well i just did and it felt damn good haha!
Though the ball doesn't seems to go in as frequently, but well i get to sweat the crap out of me.
Feels damn good.
Hope i'll have more of such chance when school reopens.
Damn it man.
Wah, all the thoughts rushing in tonight.
Enough.
A pair of listening ears would be great.
It's either they are not willing to listen anymore or they are not worth listening to my affairs.
It's getting annoying.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Vent it all out.
Tomorrow better don't rain.
I wanna play basketball the whole afternoon.
Let me vent it all out, all the 闷气。
Hmm.. No.. No..
高攀不起。
Something we say, but don't execute.
So i read this article about 张艾嘉 going to the 3rd world country, helping those in need.Then i read about Diana visit to places that was filled with patients of AIDS and places where there's dynamites.
Honestly, i admire them.
See the smile on that kid's face?
He's only getting a bread with fried egg on it.
He's a happy child already.
Now i wanna help out in the 3rd world country.
Sigma.
So today i went out with Junzhou to take photos at raffles place.
So i thought i've taken enough months ago,
then i realised there's a lot more to take.
Monday, April 4, 2011
I mean it.
I'll pay you if you can make me think otherwise.
A hefty sum, i'm serious.
Or anything you want me to do.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Those days.
Talking to the moon
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Damn it.
So freaking hot here.
How i wished i was back there now =.=
And the freaking toast................
Why?
Why am I still affected after 9 months?
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